is time flying or is it standing still?
know if you don’t do it, then someone else will.
i’m not much
i’m the sum of my purchasing power
a slight demographic
white male, mountain time
counting seconds between airwaves
tele-moon tides
(feeling trapped)
we sacrifice parts of ourselves to where we’re from
dead cells carried by the breeze to your birthplace
it’s claimed my teeth, my tongue, it eases into the jaw
i watch my friends collapse into it and i know they’ll die here,
and we that leave still live in the constant pull
of where we once were.
church bells ring,
are you listening?
not enough to draw
the humans from their
homes. i’m shouting
silent, are you listening?
her bronze-ringed fingers
banded green from
oxidation, his body de-
constructed by alcohol,
breathing via a container
and tubes her world shifts
to containment.
“my life ain’t been bad,
in spite,” she says
and she looks like she’s
melting in the light.
church bells ring,
are you listening?
it’s time we all went home.
i feel,
in some small, central place,
that i am a perfect being.
my life, the mispronunciation,
at times half-right, almost, not quite,
the disconnect -
my words,
trying to be someone else,
them,
delusions of grandeur.
—
i feel it in bed at night,
a great tug, my self pulled
back across dozens of
planes and i’ve never told any-
one. psychic strain, as if my
brain is peeling apart at the
folds, jaw clenched so tight
i fear the two parts will smash
right through each other.
unbearable.
helpless.
—
m, i am going to let you down.
i just want you to know why.
“jesus saves
those who need it”
he’s young and
shaggy looking
more than a little
fucked up
but he smiles
handsome
king, no crown
knows it all moves
a little fast and
i wonder if anyone
is ever ready
for anything.
“the transfiguration
is the most important
part of the faith.”
he’s young,
a radiant child,
king, no crown,
but left us thousands
just lying around.
i wish everyone would stop talking
i wish i could stop
i wish my eyes were clear
i wish you were here
i wish i were anywhere else
i wish i feared death
i wish i didn’t fear mistaken life
i wish this place didn’t swallow
all the light and sound
i don’t want to hit the ground
sweat covered
burned out
backed up
never leaving this place again
idle eyes
strung up
in chains
allergic reactionary
most nights i want to run until
i can’t stay awake,
to be without presence,
to stagnate
cars like sharks like fish downtown
foreign vessels, foreign routes
i get lonely when you’re not around
city summers, trash sounds
trees grow from backpacks
straight heat, public combat
i get lonely when you’re not around
